I would have to say that moving to College Station is one of the best decisions we have ever made. I needed a change of environment in every kind of way. It's like having a fresh start.
Unfortunately our condo will always remind me of the day I found out I was pregnant and how excited I became. It will also always remind me of utter devestation. I literally have not ugly cried like that in my entire life. I have never felt so broken down, depressed... I can't even describe the heart my hurt felt and still does feel when I think about it.
But being in a new place is kind of like letting go of that and on to a new beginning. I pray every night that we never have to go through something like that again because I just don't know if I can handle it. I'm so scared of that happening again that i don't want to try again. I have to go back to the doctor hte beginning of april and get 5 million tests done to make sure everything is okay... my thyroid, ovarian cysts, hormone levels and then i'll probably have an hsg test just to make sure my tubes aren't blocked. And if they are... then oh well they are. I don't know if i want fertility treatments. I personally feel like its messing with nature. But we'll see, i'm jumping way ahead of myself.
As for now, I am going to enjoy every minute with Lawrence and continue to try and get healthy :)
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